Your Bangs

...will never be as cool as mine

The Fam

Family photo 2010

An Utter Failure

It was supposed to look like this

Sins Confessed

This is probably part 1 of many. I sin a lot.

Once upon a time in the summer of 2010 there was a girl named Jenna. Each week she mowed the lawn for $10. Included in mowing the lawn was picking up the pine cones that had fallen all over the ground and throwing them away. This was Jenna's least favorite part about mowing. What many people don't know about Jenna is that she has a bright mind and a quick wit. With these two talents in hand, she quickly realized that if she threw the pine cones into the bush she wouldn't have to walk all the way over to the trash with said pine cones. The plan was brilliant and was pulled off perfectly. Each week she simply took the 5 or 6 detestable pine cones and threw them into the bush never to be found.

Then one day she came home from work and found that the hiding bush had been removed. Someone had taken the beloved bush and thrown it away. All that was left was some dirt. and some pine needles. and lots, and lots of pine cones. Oops. Jenna had been found out!

So now with my sins clearly visible for all to see...I confess. I did it. I'm not sorry I did it. I'd probably do it again if given the chance. In fact, I know I would.

Yumm-o

I love having a break between class and work:

Delectable!

8-Legged Freaks

Part the First

I had an unfortunate encounter with a spider. I had to make a card for my old roommate's wedding. I got out some patterned paper and started working. I looked up when something caught my eye. A spider ready to pounce and eat my face off. Well I wasn't about to have any of that! So I took a conveniently located plastic container with a lid and flicked the spider into it and shut the lid. No sooner had I done this than the spider started convulsing. I was the very definition of disgustingly fascinated. I had a lot to do that night...instead I spent the next 45 minutes watching this spider molt. You read correctly. The bugger shamelessly molted right in front of me. All 8 of his nasty legs gathered together in the air and then he slowly and gruesomely shed his old skin. There are no words to even describe this. Google a video of it or something. I refuse to watch it again so I'm not going to do that work for you. After 45 minutes of watching I left for my roommate's reception. When I got back later that night my spider had finally made it out of his old skin. He wasn't a whole spider anymore though. He had lost two of his legs to his old skin and now was merely a 6-legged freak. I flushed him down the toilet regardless of his leg count...goodness knows if I can't learn to love an 8-legged freak I could never learn to love a 6-legged one.

That last thought was a joke. I will never love a spider no matter how many legs he has.

Part the Second

3 days later I took a bathroom break at work. Somehow the toilet paper got rolled in on itself so I had to wrap it back up to get it out. When the last square of paper finally rolled properly...a living, breathing spider came with it. Ready to eat my face off. They tend to do that you know. I was utterly exposed and in one of the most vulnerable positions ever. I may have squealed a little bit. Then I came to my senses and grabbed a wad of toilet paper and smashed him. Please don't hate me for killing a spider. I normally don't. I make other people do it. Anyway, he died, my near-death experience was averted, and I was able to get back to work with my face fully intact.

Strays

Here are 5 of my 6 pairs of sunglasses. No, I am not obsessed. No, I don't collect. No, I do not wear them all. 4 of them wandered into my car and decided to stay. Seriously. The white pair and the red pair are mine. I own them. The three black pair could belong to anybody who has ever ridden in my car. There is a 4th pair that were in the car when I bought it. I don't know why but lonely pairs of sunglasses are attracted to me.

If anybody needs a new pair of sunglasses just let me know! I've got a couple I'm willing to give away...