Monday, March 15, 2010

Stupid, Stupid Brownies

I am an FHE mom in my ward. That means I am in charge of planning/executing family home evening for my apartment as well as three other apartments. No big deal up until tonight. I was going to make brownies for dessert because:
1. Brownies are a delicious treat
2. Brownies from a box are easy
3. It was all I had time for
So I made brownies. But here is a little known fact about me: I ruin brownie mixes. I have made probably 6 boxes of brownies in my day. The success rate thusfar is zero percent. True fact.
But this time was going to be different. I followed the box directions exactly. I sprayed the pan and I made sure everything was perfect before I put them in the oven. This is how they came out. Don't they look delicious?! I thought so.
It's a lie. Take a closer look. There is goopy in the middle. It is still a full-on batter in the middle.
By the time I realized this, 7:28 was rapidly ending and I was going to be late. But these brownies were going to turn out if it killed me! So I cranked up the oven to 500 degrees and threw the brownies in for a few more minutes. After what seemed like a reasonable amount of time (by this point I was about 15 minutes late) I pulled the brownies out and checked them out again. They actually looked okay. Hooray for brownie mixes! Being in a rush, I committed a horrible error (knowingly). I tried to scrape them out before they had cooled enough. So they balled up like this:

I was mad. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but I was in a rush. How could I, the mother of the group, be late? It was unthinkable! So I kept scraping. Soon, I came to the middle of the pan. Still goopy. I was TICKED. I was livid beyond reason. Then I got frustrated with myself for not being able to bake from a box.
8:00 was upon me and I was lacking a treat for my children. What a horrible mother I was!
Time for a bit of background: I had a rough weekend. So lets do the math.
1 rough weekend + 1 bad batch of brownies + 1 bad history with box brownies + not fulfilling motherly duties = angry tears.
I cried over brownies. BOXED brownies. I cried and cried. I skipped FHE altogether and sat on my bedroom floor with a tissue and moped. I cried for my rough weekend, I cried for not having a treat ready on time, but mostly I cried for those stupid, stupid brownies.
I can make fancy-schmancy cakes from scratch:
I make delicious cookies and frosting from scratch:
But I will never be able to make a batch of brownies from a box. Woe is me!

1 comment:

TJ said...

Jenna, it is so not's the brownie mix. They are trash. This is why we eat frownies. For a mere fraction of time and get a much, much better product. Never, and I mean never, expect much from a brownie mix. It just ain't gonna happen. If I had been in your shoes...I would have had the same trouble, except after the second session in the oven...they probably would have turned rock hard. That's what I usually get from a brownie mix...either gooey or rock hard. I just don't know what it is about them.