My Last Will and Testament

Not to be morbid, but it needed done.  I have a lot of stuff and it needs to go to someone.  However, I don't think that I can give everything away on this here blog so I think the most simple solution to that problem is to build a pyramid in the backyard and just put the rest of my stuff in my pyramid with me (pyramids make a great conversation piece and a great jungle gym).  I'll not have any qualms about this.  So without further ado...
To:
Dad: I leave my nice camera.  If I look down from Heaven and I see you taking pictures of worthless things, I'll haunt you.  You can also have your film camera back.  Thanks for letting me borrow it for the foreseeable future?
Mom:  My bedspread and matching pillows.  Love them, cherish them.  You also get my super cute apron and my watches.
Bri: My perfumes.  Use them wisely.  You can also have my children's books.
Will: You get my Canasta Caliente and my all my medical stuffs.
Alyssa: My music collection.  I think that is the only reason you tolerate me.  And just because I am in a good mood, you also get any purses you want.
Mariah: You and mom get joint custody of my jewelry. You also get my seasons of Psych.
Mattea: My nail polish.  You are welcome. You also get my little point-and-shoot camera that I can't find right now.  If I die and you find it, it is yours.
Joe:  My seasons of House.  You are welcome to them as soon as you get home from a mission.
Kate: My new sandals that I got.  The green ones.  You love green. Also: my supply of Salsa (Pace brand...YUM.)
Emily: You get all my crafty stuff.
Emerson: You have a weird fascination with the vintage fruitcake tin I have. It is all yours when I die. Enjoy, but don't get lead poisoning, k?
Cara: You get my Ghana souvenirs...because you don't have enough already.
Wade girls: my music boxes from Gram. I have two, but you can work out a rotation schedule
Colton and Jen: my kitchen stuff
Corrinne: My button collection
Heather: my Magic Bullet.  I haven't even used it yet!
Michelle: my super cool pillowcases from the 80's that I haven't finished cross-stitching
Florence: all my blankets.  Make a nice fort.
My shoes go to whoever they will fit. I just got some new cuties too, so enjoy those.

I think I just about gave everything of value away.  My bank account will be spent on fresh flowers for my grave for the rest of my life (that is going to take some SERIOUS budgeting).  The rest of my stuff is up for grabs.  Or burn it. Or send it to DI or Savers cuz that is where I got most of it anyway.  There will be no fighting about my stuff. I have nothing worth fighting about.  There will be no trading of my stuff. I gave you what I gave you for a reason.  If you don't know that reason, you clearly aren't as good of a friend as I thought you were.  I will also not tolerate any preemptive strikes on my life.  If you try to kill me so you can get your item even faster, I will see to it that you die along with me. On that happy note, enjoy your new items if I die!
*If you have a special request for an item you would like, please leave a comment or email me and I'm sure we can work something out.